Tonight? Euchre. I always bitch about having to drive all the way over to St. Paul, as if it's the end of the world, even though it borders Minneapolis, but...when you live up here, you quickly learn that to the average Minneapolitan, St Paul might as well be the moon. But it's worth going clear to the other side of downtown to see everyone.
K: There is nothing on TV anymore. I don't even know why I own a damn TiVo.
Me: Heroes comes back on in a month. Heroes, and my man Sylar.
K: Damn. You are one sick puppy, you know that?
Insane, as always. I probably should have stayed longer, but I knew if I did, I'd start drinking again/more--they had started on the Scooby Snacks--and I really didn't want to have to sleep on someone else's couch for the second time in a week.
We like to play bottoms in euchre (insert your own hoyay joke here). It means that if you have three 9's and 10's in your hand, you can trade them in for the three mystery cards on the bottom of the blind. So in one hand, I do so--the Queen of Hearts is turned up, and I trade in the 9 and 10 of Hearts. And M throws down three cards and announces he wants the cards I just threw away, that everyone's seen, and that are utterly useless.
C: What the hell are you doing?
M: Look, that's potential trump she threw away! If you pick up that Queen of Hearts, the 9 and 10 will be trump!
Me: Except that those are the TWO SHITTIEST CARDS.
C: And, that I'm not making hearts trump. So picking up the two shittiest hearts did you absolutely no good.
I realize hardly anyone reading this knows euchre, but believe me...this is hilarious. In fact, it's so funny that M had to just sit there while the other three people at the table laughed until we cried. And of course we brought it up all night. I'm sure he's crouched over a drawing board right now, plotting our painful murders.
C: Have you Wii'd yet?
Me: Dude, I own a Wii.
C: Have you ever noticed how many of the Wii games involve this? [she makes a fist and pumps it up and down rapidly] These games were all designed by men. I'm just sayin'. [points at M] He's great at Wii games. I'm just sayin'.
M: Super Mario Party 8? Now there's a good time.
C: Yeah--all the games in it involve this! [makes a fist and pumps it up and down rapidly] He and his best friend can sit on the couch and 'play' that all night! I'm just sayin'.
Masturbation jokes: fun for the inner 12-year-old in all of us.
Oh...and the subject line of this post? A t-shirt that M once saw a guy wearing in a Walmart. Good times.