Oh, man. Today was just a long long day at work, even though it was actually rather short. I'm now drinking wine while cleaning out text messages on my cell phone. I get a lot of messages from D, my BFF. A LOT of messages. Most of the messages say things like, "I'm watching Bob Ross paint right now! Mohinder is hot", or "It's snowing! Yay! Mohinder is hot", or "There are ants in my cat food. Mohinder is hot", or "Mohinder is hot Mohinder is hot Mohinder is hot Mohinder is hot Mohinder is hot Mohinder is hot." (You think I'm making this up for comedic effect, don't you? Well, I'm not.)mylar_fic
At any rate, I decided to post some of the text conversations here, for potential real-life comedic effect. They're mostly Heroes-related. Okay, let's be honest...considering that I love Sylar and D loves Mohinder, they're mostly Mylar-related. I should note that D does not have internet access right now and has never even been to the TWoP Hoyay thread or to
, but yet she has happily and willingly come to these conclusions on her own. Had I written reaction posts to the last couple of episodes of Heroes, I would have included these texts in them...
D: It is November but it is 58 degrees here! Perfect weather for riding Mohinder.
Me: I do not know you.
November 19th, before/during Heroes
D: I hate George Bush. Mohinder is hot.
Me: That is like the most random text message ever. Also, Sylar is hot, especially in a black coat.
D: That is the moment I realized how truly hot Sylar was.
Me: You will have to be more specific. Do you mean truck-flipping? Or ice cream? It's ice cream, right?
D: No. When he had killed the radioactive guy and was standing on top of that building and said "boom".
Me: No. Ice cream. "Boom" was just the cherry on top.
D: Guess I must be a cherry kind of girl. Now Mohinder, I took one look at him and was like "yum". Then he spoke and that was the cherry on top.
D: I'm going to get a cherry tattoo.
Me: I do not know you.
D: I am not liking tonight's Heroes already. That crazy bitch needs to stay away from Mo.
Me: I'm surprised. I didn't think I could dislike Elle more...but then she touched Mohinder.
D: I want Claire's dad dead. Now! Only Sylar is allowed to hit Mohinder!
Me: And NO ONE kicks Mo in the head.
Me: Wow. I didn't think they would really have Mohinder go through with shooting HRG.
D: I love the ending. I hope the Company has Claire's dad and they torture his ass.
Me: OMG OMG OMG THEY HAVE BEEN READING FANFIC.
D: That was a hot Mylar preview.
Me: So did your friend quit her job, or get fired? Sylar and Mohinder are hot.
D: Fired. Sylar and Mohinder need to be in the same episode. For maximum hotness.
Me: Sorry. I am just walking around ecstatic at the thought of getting my pretty shiny Mylar back.
D: Yes they are oh so lovely. I cannot wait to see the look on Mo's face when he finds out his Sylar is alive.
D: I saw a Heroes commercial this afternoon. It had Sylar and Mo. They looked yummy.
D: Just let Sylar eat Claire's brain. That would rule. Mo can hold her down. And kill her dad again.
Me: All I care about is seeing my men together again.
D: In the commercial I saw, I believe Mo was tied to a chair.
Me: That would fit with the spoiler I heard. Those two have the most interesting foreplay.
D: Mo and Sylar MUST be together. Who wouldn't want Mo with that voice and skin and hair? And Sylar with that psycho hotness?
Me: Now I just want to go watch the Hot Sexy Torture by Tuning Fork. You know Mo was so mad because he was already daydreaming about a honeymoon.
D: True. But they can get away with it. Sylar is warping Mo's fragile little mind.
D: That really was a good scene. The first time I saw that ep, I thought that the writers could not possibly have known how hot that was.
Me: Yeah. And you know me, when have I ever found the idea of men together to be hot? But those two...even ZQ and SR seemed surprised people found it so hot, which I don't understand. DID THEY NOT SEE THE SHOW?
D: I've never found the idea hot either. But they really do have some odd chemistry. Mohinder is hot.
Later, on November 24th
D: Cranberries are the ninja fruit. Mohinder is hot whether you are high or not.
Me: It's all about Mo with you isn't it? I am watching Graham Norton. I keep laughing and my jaw is really hurting but I can't turn it off. He has Trinny & Susannah, and Jo Brant from AbFab. I think they have genuinely disturbed him.
D: THAT would have been funny. Speaking of AbFab do you remember they go to Marrakesh or whatever? When Patsy sells Saffy into slavery? That old guy tells Saffy he wants to cover her body with yogurt and lick it off? Things like that make me all about Mohinder.
Me: Wait a minute. Is Mohinder the licker or the lickee? And who is he licking it off of? And what is being licked off?
D: Me. And whatever I am in the mood for. Okay, so I know you hate it when I call ZQ Bert. But if he is Bert, then Mo is Ernie, and that makes me laugh.
Me: I do not know you.
November 26th, before/during/after Heroes
D. at 6:43 pm: To hell with Maya. I just want to see Mo and Sylar.
Me, 7:02: Want to see something hilarious? Go back & watch where Mo goes with Nathan to see Peter. & then watch where Sylar goes to visit his mom. THEY'RE WEARING THE SAME BROWN CORDUROY JACKET. Sylar must have wanted a memento of Momo to take with him.
D, 7:24: But of course! That is too much.
Me, 7:28: I'll send you the pics. I can't stop giggling. I wonder if the showrunners noticed.
D, 8:09: Hell yeah Mohinder!
Me, 8:12: Angry!Mo = HOTTTTT. As a member of Team Sylar, I'm allowed to appreciate that.
D, 8:13: Mmm hmm. Love it when he gets like that.
Me, 8:14: And he stomped out without listening to Bennet. ...God, I can't stand Maya.
D, 8:17: I do not like the bitch all over Sylar.
Me, 8:20: And WTF was that? That's all it took for her to learn to control herself? That's fucking bullshit. I'm getting some fucking wine.
D, 8:21: Lucky you.
Me, 8:33: WTF? Al can't speak English but he can read it online? Also Maya is clearly too fucking dumb to be allowed to live. Even Parkman's unborn not-baby would have smelled Sylar's bullshit in that scene.
D, 8:36: True. But I love that psycho look Sylar gets.
D, 8:39: HELL YEAH!
Me. 8:42: Sigh. I kind of liked Alejandro. But what was up with him suddenly speaking English? Pete's as dumb as Maya now. Maybe they can get together.
D, 8:43: But Sylar kissing Maya makes me want to hurl.
Me, 8:46: Trust me. Vomit bags are being employed all over fandom right now.
D: I just realized how hot ZQ looked last night without his shirt. I was so repulsed about him making out with Maya, it just now filtered through.
Me: Heh. Yeah, Maya was distracting. And yet there are people who are upset that we didn't get to see them Do It. It's canon that he wants to murder her!!! Why would I want to see them sleep together?
D: I would have been traumatized for life if I had to see that.
Me: Seriously, the girl is too dumb to live. Not to mention she apparently has no problem just going off and leaving her TWIN BROTHER behind in an alien country? That's cold.
D: But she loooooves Sylar. Dumb bitch.
Me: Honestly if people liked Maya, wouldn't they want her to get away from Sylar ASAP instead of wanting her to make out with him? He was so blatantly creepy and she DIDN'T NOTICE...
D: I have to admit it made me laugh to see her making out with him with her dead brother just inside the door. Cause I hate her.
Me: Remember how last year he had to work hard at playing Zane and even so, Mo sensed the crazy? Don't know why he bothered hiding Al's body. He could have told Maya that Al stabbed himself in despair and she'd have helped him dispose of the body.
D: Ahhh but that just wouldn't be Sylar...
Me: I'm going to miss Al. Though I won't miss him screaming MAYYYYAAAA all the time.
D: Never liked Al. DK why. Trying to do Christmas cards now and Bunny [NOTE: Bunny is her cat] is trying to fit himself into the empty box. He is a freak.
D: Here is hoping Maya dies soon. She will start whining "Gahhbriel!" instead of "Alejandro!" and that would suck. A lot.
Me: At least Gabriel has fewer syllables. Wait, that just means she can whine it more frequently...
D: Oh, I forgot. Mohinder is hot. Especially when he gets all badass.
Me: You know what's hotter? Sylar shushing Mohinder. Why did that give me the feeling that Molly's chances of survival are directly related to how much clothing Mo is willing to remove?
D: I loved the preview. Sylar was sitting in a chair and when mo walked in he turns toward Mo and says "Welcome home, Dr. Suresh"
Me: Yeah, that was great. I want to know what he did to the babysitter though. And whether Maya even blinked.
D: He probably told Maya to wait outside. I just wish the babysitter was Parkman. If Sylar does have the virus and Mo cures him, I wonder if he will have Candice's gift. If so, who will he turn into to tempt Mohinder? That is what I want to know.
Me: I think all he has to do to tempt Mo is put on a Ramones t-shirt.
D: True. But what will the writers think Mo wants? I mean what if they make Mo fall for Maya? and when the hell are they going to kill Elle?
Me: If they make Mo fall for Maya, I will quit watching.
D: Yeah. That will piss me off. I will send them multiple letters per day with very nasty things to say.
D: When Candice was appearing in different guises to try to tempt Sylar, she should have turned into Mohinder. That would have been funny.
Me: Um, everyone on the internet has already had that thought.
D: Yeah, but it still would be funny.
D: I'm listening to GnR again. Paradise City. And I'm thinking that's how the roaches kept Sylar entertained, hissing out some GnR tunes for him.
Me: You are insane. They had just better have Sylar and Mohinder get together before the hiatus.
D: You know that has to happen. Sylar has to have Mohinder. And Molly will be a tasty snack!
D: Mohinder is hot. Mohinder is hot. Mohinder is hot. Mohinder is hot. Mohinder is hot. Mohinder is hot. Mohinder is hot. Mohinder is hot.
Me: My God. You are going to get carpal tunnel.
D: When are you going to get your Heroes DVDs back from M so you can watch Sylar and Mohinder be hot? Mohinder is hot.
Me: I do not know you.