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:: "fuzzy romance and brutal terror" : apparently, I can get behind that ::
I love the smell of fresh crack in the morning. 
24th-Jan-2008 11:58 am
Doctor Who - Captain Jack
So I had this conversation with a friend:

ME: ...Look, boys touching boys, in general, is not interesting to me. Sorry.
FRIEND: But some boys are so hot that it's fun to watch them touch anyone.
ME: OK. True. Like John Barrowman. He's so hot, it doesn't matter WHO he makes out with.
FRIEND: Well, there's got to be SOMEONE who he wouldn't be hot with.
ME: John Barrowman and...Meatloaf?
FRIEND: Oh my God!!!
ME: That's a bad oh-my-God, right?
FRIEND: That's just gross. Meatloaf wouldn't be tolerable even if he was with Sen--
ME: Do not even use his name in the same sentence as Meatloaf's. I will cut you.
FRIEND: So, Meatloaf is like the anti-John Barrowman? He sucks the hotness out of those unfortunate enough to come near him?
ME: They're like the immovable object and the irresistable force.

This conversation (and the crack we were apparently smoking during it) got me speculating. So, in honor of the return of Torchwood and its astoundingly high slash content to BBC America this weekend, I have created this poll: 
 

What would happen if John Barrowman and Meatloaf made out?

John Barrowman's charm and hotness consumes and overcomes everything around it. It would be at least marginally hot.
0(0.0%)
Meatloaf. MEATLOAF. Haven't you ever seen him? The icky is of a magnitude that no amount of hotness can overcome.
0(0.0%)
Why do you think this is such a bad thing? I have a whole collection of photo manips of the two of them on my RPS journal that I'd love to share with you!
1(7.7%)
Can we go back to talking about Sylar and Mohinder?
9(69.2%)
If you ever make me think about something this disgusting again, I will hunt you down and make you read Matthinder fic.
3(23.1%)

Comments 
24th-Jan-2008 06:36 pm (UTC)
DON'T THINK I WON'T.
24th-Jan-2008 06:41 pm (UTC)
Wow. I am universally disturbing people today. That's a record, I think. Matthinder fic. That's a harsh punishment...

(My worry is, what do I do if someone picks choice #3? Like, even if they claim it was just a joke? *shudders*)
24th-Jan-2008 07:09 pm (UTC)
Grounds for immediate de-friending, I'd think. Barrowloaf shipping. Jesus.

Sendhil and Meatloaf. That's just horrifying. I'd HAPPILY take Matthinder over that. The lesser of two evils, surely.
24th-Jan-2008 07:17 pm (UTC)
Sendhil and Meatloaf. That's just horrifying.
I know. I didn't even let her finish the sentence. I think that might be grounds for justifiable homicide.

I still recall the horror of watching MTV in college when that video for "I Would Do Anything For Love" was in heavy rotation, and saying to my friend Jeremy, "I really don't see any difference in the 'before' Meatloaf and the 'after' Meatloaf." And he sat for a few seconds before replying, "You know, he probably has groupies. And they've had sex with him. And they liked it. And some of them might have been sober when they did it."

Misty water-colored meeeeeemmmmmmories...
24th-Jan-2008 07:13 pm (UTC)
*Laughs evilly*

ETA: Actually, I chose that one because I couldn't stop laughing about it. Though in all seriousness, I pick the Mylar one. Mmmmmm, Mylar.

Edited at 2008-01-24 07:14 pm (UTC)
24th-Jan-2008 07:22 pm (UTC)
I...kind of feel dirty for even mentioning the pretty, pretty Mylar in the same post as...IT. Mylar doesn't deserve to be exposed to the horrors of something like...IT.

Here. I shall use my special icon in an attempt to distract the horrified masses from the awful things I'm talking about...
24th-Jan-2008 07:05 pm (UTC)
I had a hard time choosing between the last two options but no one deserves to have to read Matthinder if they don't want to.
24th-Jan-2008 07:29 pm (UTC)
It was the harshest punishment I could think of, though... XD
24th-Jan-2008 07:42 pm (UTC)
Its funny, I liked Matthinder until I watched the show and realized those two don't like each other and have no chemistry whatsoever.
24th-Jan-2008 07:59 pm (UTC)
Well, I've always been strongly anti-Matt Parkman because he's just too much of an idiot for me. But Parkman and Mohinder just come across as nothing but hostile towards each other. I know the actors get along well, but the characters just seem to only feel anger and contempt. I didn't get that kind of feeling between Mohinder and Bennet even with everything that went on this season. Heck, Mohinder and Nathan even had more of a rapport with each other, despite the fact that their meetings consisted of Mohinder raving like a deranged lunatic outside Nathan's office and Nathan uncomfortably asking Mo to help him with his unbalanced little brother.

I actually feel uncomfortable watching Mohinder and Parkman because of that undercurrent of anger. It's like when you're out with friends and two of them start arguing in public, and you sit there wishing you could go hide somewhere far away from the arguing.
24th-Jan-2008 08:09 pm (UTC)
Yeah Matt is so challenged I feel like he needs a good ass-whooping on a regular basis to keep him in line. He freaks me out with his stupidity so much I think Molly would be better off with Sylar soon, especially the way he uses his powers. I was thinking of shipping Matt and Maya but that is way too much stupid in one room. I mean stupid Matt and then Maya and her ridiculous stupid face and voice. Ack, I'm more freaked by this than Meatloaf slashing bcse these two are insanely powerful but so very stupid.
24th-Jan-2008 09:03 pm (UTC)
I was thinking of shipping Matt and Maya but that is way too much stupid in one room.

Actually, I have proposed that before! She likes hero-worshipping, and Matt likes being thought of as a hero. She'd be so busy telling everyone what an angel Matt was, that she wouldn't ever think about cheating on him. If Matt's so all-powerful and can control people's brains, surely he could turn off her black tears of death. And you just know Maya spent that road trip picking out names for her and Gah-bree-EL's kids, so she'd make a good pregnant wife for Matt. It is indeed a lot of stupid in one room, but..they could go live happily ever after somewhere far, far away from the rest of the characters. Until season 5, when Sylar finds out where they're living and pays them and Junior and the twins a visit...
24th-Jan-2008 08:56 pm (UTC)
I had to look up what Meatloaf looked like... oh my god. Mylar, please. Mylar: the new brain bleach.

*small voice* Is it weird that I kind of LOVE a lot of Matthinder fic, even though in the show I find Matt hopelessly dull and am so anti the ship... yeah, I feel too virulently against it to even finish the sentence. They really don't like each other on the show. Which is too bad, because the situation is ripe for romantic dramedy, and the stories people come up with are fun. And people write both Matt and Mohinder as the best possible versions of themselves.

I was thinking of shipping Matt and Maya but that is way too much stupid in one room.
See, I have been secretly shipping Matt/Maya SOLELY because I have convinced myself that if I believe in it hard enough, the show won't force Maya/Mohinder on me. Wah. My other great fear is that they'll use the Zach/Kristen friendship to give them lots of scenes together... and ew.
24th-Jan-2008 09:04 pm (UTC)
True, but Kring promised no more romances and I'm holding him to that. If he lies, I am done because Mohinder is too much of a smart-ass to put up with her simpering and brainless adoration. I am sick to death of men falling for women in distress who feed their egos like that's all a woman is good for and not all men like that. I mean look at Eden and Mira, it doesn't make any sense for Mohinder to fall for her unless he becomes depressed and starts drinking.
24th-Jan-2008 09:21 pm (UTC)
If he lies, I am done because Mohinder is too much of a smart-ass to put up with her simpering and brainless adoration.

You know, I don't think I've ever outright said it would be OOC for Mohidner to "fall in love" with Maya, but...I think it would. The two women he's been linked with on the show have been fairly forceful, and the men he's had good chemistry with have been men of action, like him. Heck - even Molly has shown herself capable of taking action and making decisions. Maya was dependent on Al, and then dependent on Sylar, and she's really going to be dependent after all this trauma. Mohinder would definitely feel bad for her, especially since he's gone through the same kind of Sylar-trauma, but...love?
24th-Jan-2008 09:15 pm (UTC)
Which is too bad, because the situation is ripe for romantic dramedy, and the stories people come up with are fun.

I can see that reasoning. But ever since 5YG, when Matt saw "Nathan" phase through solid matter, even though Nathan shouldn't be able to do that, but he just said, "Yes sir!" and kept following orders...he's just been too brainless for me to like.

See, I have been secretly shipping Matt/Maya SOLELY because I have convinced myself that if I believe in it hard enough, the show won't force Maya/Mohinder on me.

AAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Even leaving aside my personal feelings about Maya, she is someone who seems to have been very emotionally dependent even before her power manifested, and after everything she's been through, she's going to be emotionally devastated. If she were to get into a relationship with someone, she would just be doing it to have someone who'd soothe her while she tried to heal. That would drag Mohinder's storyline down so badly - it would drag ANY character's storyline down too badly. Plus...I just don't think Maya is mentally worthy of him. I never liked Mohinder/Eden because I just didn't feel chemistry between them, but Eden at least was intelligent and capable and resourceful. If they ever put him with a woman, that's the kind of woman it's got to be.
24th-Jan-2008 09:20 pm (UTC)
This is secretly why I have yet to write a review for season two, I'm afraid I 'll convince myself out of watching Volume three because I fear Dania's shitty acting will kill Mohinder's storyline.
And yeah, Mohinder/Elle, I was expecting some chemistry but there really wasn't any.
24th-Jan-2008 11:27 pm (UTC)
I agree that Maya would drag down any storyline, and I don't see anything for her to do in America, except become a company girl. Mo definitely needs a mental match, and she is not it. He needs someone who will snark back at him. Elle is the only female right now capable of doing that, and even I am not fully convinced it would work on the show. It might be fun for them to make out once or twice, but Mo is too busy to be hopelessly in love with anyone (except Sylar).

But yes, I do hope Kring did not lie about the romance.

And to reiterate... Meatloaf. Ick.
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