OK, I can't believe that NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON ON MY FLIST DID THIS
. Not that I'm mocking all y'all, since I completely forgot about it until now too. But with as many people who are into zombies...surely, one other person out there has heard about it?!?
For those of you who haven't heard of it...which is all of you...for Blog Like It's The End Of The World Day, one should blog as if one is attempting to survive a zombie attack. I see that there is even a Facebook group for it. I must go gnash my teeth over the fact that I have been so out of it, I didn't pay attention to any of it.
I am running late for a cookout and don't have time to write something original before the day is up. So I'll post the little thing I wrote for BLITEOTW 2007. I originally posted it in another blog before I friended most of you, so it won't be repetitive.
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What’s very shocking to me is how boring a zombie apocalypse is. I would have expected people running and screaming in the streets, blood, fire, desperation, destruction. That’s probably happening in the city, but out here in the suburbs where I work, it’s more or less life as usual. Maybe Simon Pegg and Nick Frost had it more right than they realized: maybe people really are so numbed that even zombiefication doesn’t really change their behavior.
Several of my co-workers did succumb, and managed to eat one of the engineers back in the clean room before we figured out what was going on. I’ve found that a nice, heavy, three-holed-punch works really well for bashing heads in, especially if you grip it with both hands and pound rather than wielding it like a bat. Out in these isolated suburban office parks, there actually aren’t very many windows to barricade, and once we closed the doors to all the offices, even if any of them are out there shuffling through the parking lot, they can’t see any human activity inside the building.
The power did cut out briefly but the backup generators kicked in almost immediately (which is how I’m able to post this…if there’s anyone out there who has the time to read it). We turned off all the lights and just have a couple of computers running here in the back, and our operations director figures we’ve got about two weeks of power. We’ve been keeping an eye on news reports, but Fox News is just talking about how this was probably caused by the Democrats’ lack of support for President Bush’s national security policies, while CNN is recommending that people make themselves safer by driving out to their local home improvement store to get plastic sheeting and duct tape to seal up their houses. We decided it would be a more productive use of our time to watch homemade Star Trek videos on YouTube. And yep, YouTube is still up and running—apparently zombies see no need to interfere with server rooms.
Our one worry is water. There are actually a fair number of bottled waters in the kitchenette, along with a lot of pop. We’ve filled every available container with water, which turned out to be a good idea since the water pressure slowly began to drop as we did so. There was a brief argument over whether or not the water could have been the source of the zombie infection, but since several people had made coffee with fresh tap water this morning and were still fine, we tentatively decided it was safe to drink. (I grip my 3-hole-punch a little tighter when they’re close to me, though.) The last remaining engineer has been trying to piece together some kind of purifier that could be used on urine, but I’d prefer not to go all “Waterworld” on the stuff until it’s absolutely necessary. By rationing out the snack food we’ve found in everyone’s file cabinets, we should be able to make it at least to the end of the month.
As an experiment, we did drag two of our zombiefied co-workers back to the inventory cage and lock them in. We started having an argument about whether zombies are just attracted to the brains of live people, or whether they could feel actual hunger and might eat each other if nothing else was available. There were too many variations in the zombie canon for us to come to an agreement—people even cited sources as obscure as David Eddings’ Raveners. One of the zombies was pretty bloody, so we thought that might add to the likelihood of zombie cannibalism. So far, though, all that’s happened is some intermittent incoherent groaning, though it’s true that their slow movement probably indicates slow metabolism, so it’s going to take a lot longer for them to get hungry.
In the meantime, though, there’s nothing to do but sit and wait. And wait. And wait. What if the end of the world comes and we don’t even notice?