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:: "fuzzy romance and brutal terror" : apparently, I can get behind that ::
Recent Crap 
Eddie Izzard - St Bastard

Up here in Minnesota, people go on and on and on about the Vikings.  And on.  Right now, they're extremely disgusted with the useless coach, Brad "I Never Call A Play That Autistic 5-Year-Olds Can't See Coming From A Mile Away, Yet I'm Stumped As To How Defensive Coordinators Magically Anticipate My Every Move" Childress, and the clearly-not-Brett-Favre-or-Daunte-Culpepper-or-even-Carson-Palmer-quality quarterback, Tavaris Jackson. There's also plenty of fury left over for owner Zygi Wilf, a man who makes Cincinnati's Mike Brown look like a strategic genius.

There was a poll running at (I believe) ESPN.com, where users were asked to indicate whether or not they approved of a coach's current performance.  Only 6% of respondents had confidence in Childress (Marvin Lewis of the Bengals had a higher rating).  Some of the people on local message boards were quite hilarious in their response to this bit of info.  I think my favorite comment is the last one...

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A 6% rating for the Chiller???? Someone must have been confused about this voting process.

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And those 6% are Packer fans who are absolutely delighted in the continued 'competence' of Sir Brad.

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6% seems awfully high...is there a 6% margin of error?

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Even Brad’s family says, “he must go.”  His wife later said, “He’s also predictable in bed.”

A positive vote came in from a T. Jackson, which said, “he a gud cooch. Me likes him.” (It should be noted that T. Jackson’s vote was skipped into the ballot box because the delivery was three yards short.)

A Z. Wilf asked, “is a 6% approval rating good?” Then, he pissed off a bunch of people in Anoka County.

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Childress: “Sometimes a positive response isn’t what you’re looking for. Like in an STD test. This voting is just like that.”

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Detail of 'Yuuwaku' by Audrey Kawasaki
I haven't really talked about the GMAC Bowl played on Sunday because the wounds were too deep. I seriously should have gotten drunk before trying to watch that. I actually gave up and went to bed when the score was still only 56-7. I mean...what the FUCK?!?! So in an attempt to wash the bad taste out of my mouth - since "at least Toledo didn't even make it into a bowl game" isn't helping - I decided to thank my perennial also-rans, the Cincinnati Bengals.

Thank you, Marvin Lewis. You may only have coached them to a 7-9 record this year, but at least you're not Dave Shula. And hey! You still won 6 more games than the Dolphins did!

Thank you, Chad Johnson. By all rights, your clowning should annoy the crap out of me, yet I find you charming and funny, even the fact that whenever you come up with an attention-seeking plan, you have a check made out to the NFL to pay the inevitable fine before you even do it. I don't even mind the GoDaddy.com commercials where you promote your own website.

Thank you, Carson Palmer. Because what you are? Is made of awesome. You are possibly the only #1 draft pick that the Bengals have successfully made (remember Big Daddy, anyone? Exactly!) and despite all the interceptions, you still set franchise records for completions and passing yards.

Thank you, Chris Henry, for not getting arrested yet in 2008.

And finally, thank you, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, for not just being "the guy they picked up because they wanted a player whose name was even harder to spell than Eric Bieniemy's". For setting a team record (and NHL-leading) number of pass receptions, for getting elected to the Pro Bowl, and for saying that one of your favorite hobbies is the PlayStation.
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