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:: "fuzzy romance and brutal terror" : apparently, I can get behind that ::
My semi-monthly post (and by "semi" I mean "every few months") 
30th-Apr-2010 11:42 pm
Torchwood - Speeding at night
I hope everyone is doing well.  I'm just...well, I feel like I need to make this an almost-goodbye post or something, in case there comes a point where I just don't come back to LJ any more.  It's not that anything bad is going on - quite the contrary.  Real life is very happy for me.  The problem is, it's also busy.  We've spent the last few months renovating the kitchen ourselves, my work is busy, gardening season is about to start, and we're talking about having a baby.  That just doesn't leave a lot of time for online life.  I lurk every few weeks and catch up on what people have been doing, but that's it.

Plus, the thing that drove me to get involved with online life was fandom...and I don't have a single show that I'm into right at the moment.  The only show I actively seek out right now is Dr. G Medical Examiner and if there's a fandom for that, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.  JESUS I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.  So it's like, what am I going to do, come to LJ and bore everyone with descriptions of how I came to choose Garden Club Green as the paint color that best matched the new glass tile?  I keep wanting to have more of an online life, maybe reviewing TV shows for my own enjoyment or something.  But something else always seems to take up my time.

Anyway.  If there ever does come a point where I just fade away, I wanted to leave this post as a note that everything in real life is fine.   I miss you all, but right at this moment, I don't have anything driving me to be online.
1st-May-2010 04:48 am (UTC)
Hey! Don't worry about not having time or inclination for LJ--that's just how life goes, and I'm thrilled that things are so happy for you. The internet and fandom will still be around if/when you want them. We'll miss you (and do!), but that's why I have your fic in my memories. ^_^

Though, if you do have a baby, would you post pictures for us? Please? =)
1st-May-2010 05:12 am (UTC)
Should I ever have a baby, I would definitely harrass you with pictures of her. :0)

It's very odd because although I don't even know the real names of most of the people on my flist, I feel really bad about not being around to chat with them, and I miss them. I just have nothing to talk about at the moment that's not related to RL. I don't know...I don't mind reading other people's RL posts, so it's likely that other people wouldn't mind reading my RL posts, but I just feel so freaking BORING if all I ever talk about is how I managed to get another coat of stain on the last set of cabinet drawers, and how the zinna seeds I planted have all sprouted. Who knows, I may get motivated and start inflicting it on everyone...
1st-May-2010 06:30 am (UTC)
Well, if you ever have the time and inclination to do RL blog entries, I'm interested in reading!

I feel bad about commenting more, but I enjoy seeing what people are up to.
1st-May-2010 03:03 pm (UTC)
It's weird, because I enjoy seeing what people are up to. I read all your RL blog entries (but rarely comment myself). But I feel like I'm only boring the crap out of people if I post RL entries. Often, what I feel like posting are just links to websites that amused me, so I've been posting on Facebook. I don't really like Facebook, because the level of interaction is more shallow, but that feels more appropriate for a drive-by posting of "Check out the Sleep Talkin' Man blog, it's hilarious!"
1st-May-2010 08:19 am (UTC)
As you know, I completely understand where you're coming from. The only tv show I have right now is Ashes to Ashes and I JUST DON'T LIKE FANDOM FOR BRITISH SHOWS. And, I'm busy being happy.

Also- BABY TALK! Exciting!!!!
1st-May-2010 03:11 pm (UTC)
We'll see where the baby talk goes. At the moment, we live in a 94-year-old 2-bedroom house that I bought six years ago. He already has nightmares about the as-yet-unconceived baby falling down the steep stairs, but we're at least a year away from being able to afford a different house. So...who knows. I'm kind of in the same state as you, I suspect. It's been just over 2 years since I met my husband, and at that time, I kind of wanted a husband and kids, but was kind of scared at the thought. And now here I am, still kind of weirded out by the fact that I'm married and scared at the thought of being a parent, but yet very happy about everything.

On a totally different subject: is Ashes to Ashes good? I loved Gene Hunt but Sam Tyler was such a wonderful central character in Life on Mars that I haven't tried watching the follow-up.
1st-May-2010 02:16 pm (UTC)
Cheers to real life and having it go really well :-)

I understand and like etoiledunord said, we've got your fics. Things have changed within fandom, at least the one I used to frequent with you...an evolution of sorts. There are shows my flist are loving that I've been losing interest in (like "Lost", "Supernatural") so sometimes I feel like I'm also way on the periphery of things...and the shows I'm into...well, my real life friends are into those so I go all fangirl squee with them instead.

If you ever want to "bore me" with real life stories don't fret about emailing me (if you're interested). I'd love to hear how you're doing.
1st-May-2010 03:39 pm (UTC)
I had never really had much of an online life before I started talking to people in the Heroes fandom, and it's really astonished me how attached I've gotten to people. By not posting much, I feel the same way I'd feel if I ran into a RL friend at the coffee shop who snarled, "You live three miles from me, but yet I haven't heard from you since January?" But whenever I consider writing an entry, I always think, "Yeah, people are going to be OH SO FASCINATED by my account of the 18th time I got on my husband about dribbling juice all over the counter." I'll try to keep up, though, even if it's just by the occasional email.
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2nd-May-2010 06:30 pm (UTC)
I'm always happy when an amazing artist thinks I'm a decent writer! :0) And I'm glad life is wonderful for you right now, too!

I am making a resolution to try to update frequently, even if it's just real life things. It's surprisingly hard to overcome the "RL things are going to bore everyone" mental block.
2nd-May-2010 01:28 am (UTC)
You know what's funny? I felt bad about never posting, but comforted myself with the fact that "no one else ever posts either!" (because, yes, I am six years old.) And then, one by one, people started posting. And by "started posting", I mean "made random 'I'm still alive!' posts". I still felt bad because I was still not posting..., but not that bad, because there were still people who had not yet posted. Slowly the list dwindled, til there was one person left. One non-posting poster who allowed me to not feel so bad about never posting anything. And today... you posted twice. I have nothing left to cling to.

But that's okay, because it's good to hear that you're doing fine in Real Life -- having fun being married, fixing the house (I need to do that), gardening (I need to get seeds) and not really watching anything on tv (sounds familiar). Still, as everyone else has said, Real Life stories can be interesting too. Tell us about the garden (What? I read a local blog all about a lady's garden!) Show us your new kitchen! Or just randomly drop in to let us know you're still alive and doing well.

2nd-May-2010 06:34 pm (UTC)
It is a plot we came up with to make you feel bad. And it worked. It worked! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Yeah, I know I'm out of it. My husband woke me up multiple times last night and due to the lack of sleep, I feel like I'm hung over. Complete with slight nausea, weird mood swings and a sense of humor that's only funny to me right at this instant.

I am forcing myself to get offline RIGHT NOW to tend to my seeds. I generally don't have good luck starting seeds despite buying special light bulbs for them, but I'm trying it one more time this year. I've got zinnias in 3 colors, gomphrena, false Queen Anne's lace and ornamental peppers that probably won't sprout because I'm not keeping them warm enough. I've told myself that it's the thought that counts. Yeah. Right.
3rd-May-2010 04:13 am (UTC)
What an insidiously evil plot! Geniuses, the lot of you!

Though, did you ever think that there was a side plot in which we got you to post this post and then slowly drag you back to an internet where no one really posts anymore? Okay, so maybe that plan is not so great. Back to the drawing board!

I still have no seeds. And it's so late in the planting year already that I am considering just getting plants. I usually just do vegetables, but I really want flowers. This would be fine if I was not both daytime-lazy and a hater of heat. If there was a way to garden during "normal" hours when it was not a million and a half in the shade, I'd be right on it! As it stands, it's hot and I can only be outside for a few minutes before I get mad and leave.

I'll probably pick up a few tomato plants. I do those every year. And I want to branch out into something else, but it has to be the kind of thing that I can have just a few plants, but still produce enough to make it worthwhile. Last year's cucumbers and peppers experiment was a failure.

2nd-May-2010 02:32 am (UTC)
Nothing wrong with posting about real life. But if you want to move on, at least it's because you're happy. :) I'll keep an eye out for you regardless. It's been lovely to know you, and I'm glad things are going so well.

Argh, gardening.... I miss my herb garden back in Canada. The down side to living in an apartment is being limited to pots, and I pretty much suck at growing anything in pots. Plants tend to do better around me when I can just put them in the ground and forget about them, LOL.
2nd-May-2010 06:26 pm (UTC)
It's not really a "want to move on"...it's just that the time elapsed between me getting on LJ seems to get longer and longer. It's like TWoP: I never made a conscious decision to quit going to the site, I just realized one day that I hadn't been there in over a year. So I'm afraid that that will happen with me here. And I hate it when someone you used to talk to a lot drops off the face of the earth, and you know that they probably just got bored with the site, but a piece of you worries if something bad happened to them and hopes they're OK.

I'm kind of in a weird spot - I enjoy having a yard for gardening but this year, I'm not looking forward to it. The kitchen remodel is taking up most of my spare energy (it saves a lot of money to do everything yourself, but it's always more time-consuming than you think it will be) and so I'm having to choose between putting another coat of varnish on the cabinets or pulling weeds. The weeds bother the neighbors, but the piles of dishes covering the dining room table until the cabinets are done bother ME...
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