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:: "fuzzy romance and brutal terror" : apparently, I can get behind that ::
Dissatisfaction with 'Heroes' can cause loudmouthed insanity 
26th-Jun-2007 07:47 pm
Detail of 'Yuuwaku' by Audrey Kawasaki

I'm kind of struggling because I got a little website of my own and set up a blog with WordPress...and now, because so many cool people at TWoP have LJs, I've got this LJ.  Which I've actually had fun customizing.  And which people are more likely to visit.  So I don't really want to maintain two separate blogs, but I don't want to double-post everything, but I don't want to get rid of one of them...

Anyway, since most of the people I talk to at TWoP are other "Heroes" fans, I thought I would copy over a post I made right after the season 1 finale aired.  I present: Some Things That Were Said and Thought While Watching The Finale With Some Friends.


“You’re not missing anything—Mo-yawn-der is doing a pretentious voiceover while they show clips of the characters from throughout the season.”


“Finish what you’re doing—now they’re just replaying scenes from last week.”


“No, you still haven’t missed anything—it’s a new scene, but it’s just a retread of what we heard last week about how Ando’s ass is dead if he goes after Sylar alone.”


“Oh, for pete’s sake—how much of this damn finale is going to be flashbacks and filler?!?”


“I gotta be honest, I kind of wish Sylar would cut Matt Parkman’s head open for his mind-reading powers…because he’s frankly just too stupid to live. Actually, I suspect that scene would be Sylar starting to cut Matt’s head open, but then saying, ‘You know what? It’s just not worth the effort’.”


Me: “That’s Sylar. He’s the guy who used to just be a cute little geek and now he’s a…uh…serial killer. A really hot serial killer. Who eats other Heroes’ brains.”

C: “Oh my God. You’re right…he IS hot.”

P (apparently feeling threatened): “You know, he’s got really big mommy issues. Would you really want a guy with really big mommy issues?”

Me: (pause) “He also eats people’s brains. Doesn’t that bug you any?”

P: “Yeah, but I’m talking MASSIVE mommy issues.”


“Great—the emo bangs are back. I’m guessing this means Peter Petrelli will be acting like a pussy again this week.”


“Did Nathan Petrelli honestly just say ‘All we need is love’? For pete’s sake, if we have to live inside a Beatles song, can’t we at least take the batshit-crazy-Sylar route and live inside of ‘Yellow Submarine’?”


“Oh my God. Sylar’s wearing that weird black coat again., with the black hoodie underneath it. He looks so freaking hot. …What?”


“Jesus, Peter, stop being such a pussy!”


“Wait a minute. This is a scene from the pilot, with a little extra footage added on! I can’t believe NBC spent all week hyping this episode and then made it a frigging clip show. Even ‘Married: With Children’ did better season finales than that!”


“OK, so, that girl that Peter’s talking to is Simone. Who’s now dead. And he’s a hospice nurse taking care of Simone’s dad. Who is also now dead. And Simone was dating Isaac, the comic book artist who painted the future. Who is now dead. Because Sylar cut his head open and ate his brains. (pause) You know, ‘The Sopranos’ could learn a thing or two from this show.”


“Matt looks excited to be at ground zero. Someone must have told him there’d be hoagies.”


“You know, Peter’s been such a freaking pussy that I’m kind of enjoying watching Sylar beat the crap out of him.”


(in unison) “Sylar just shot Matt! With his own bullets! OH YEAH!”


“Cool! Hiro just phased in with his sword and—NO!!!! YOU STABBED MY SYLAR!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!! …What?”


“I don’t understand why Claire doesn’t just shoot Peter to stop him from going nuclear—if he can regenerate after getting a giant shard of glass in the cerebrum, why can’t he regenerate after taking a bullet in the same place? Of course, if the writers went with that explanation, we would have been robbed of this glorious chance to see Peter act like a pussy one more time before the end of the season.”


“Um…why do I get the feeling that the Petrelli brothers are going to kiss, and it’s going to involve tongue?”


“They had better show Sylar moving to prove he’s still alive, or Nakamura is a dead man. Do you hear me, Hiro??? YOU’RE A DEAD MAN!!!! …What?”


“Wait a minute…so Peter Petrelli blew up in the atmosphere instead of in the middle of New York City. Won’t that just mean that his radioactive dust will spread even further through the atmosphere? Or is that the oh-so-exciting plot of season 2: ‘Save the Cheerleader, Save the World…From Nuclear Winter’?”


“Did Molly just tell Matt that he’s her hero? And ask him not to die? OK, she may only be eight years old, but now I wanna see Sylar eat HER brains, too.”


“Am I the only person who can’t believe that they apparently just all went off and forgot about Sylar lying there, and let him escape so that he can plot ways to cut all their heads open next fall? If they’re gonna make Dubya look like a MENSA candidate, I say, bring on genocidal Dictator Sylar.”


“You know, I’m down with next season being called ‘Heroes: Generations’ if it means I get to see Sylar in an outfit from ‘Dangerous Liaisons’. …What?!?”


“Wait a minute…one of your friends just called to discuss whether or not the finale was good? My God–we are even bigger dorks than I realized. …No, tell your friend I DON’T want to talk about the Ewoks!”

29th-Jun-2007 08:48 pm (UTC)
Hey, just wanted to stop by and say thanks for commenting on my fic! I'm glad you like it so far.

I laughed at this entire post - it was all funny because it's TRUE. My favorite part is when you predict that Sylar would realize that Parkman's brain isn't really all that worth stealing.

Oh, and those motivators you did are all very kick ass :)
30th-Jun-2007 03:07 am (UTC)
Thanks a lot! I can't take credit for 100% of it--a few of the things were said by my friends. But they don't have blogs, so I can steal their words... :0) (Also, I know some people have a soft spot for Matt Parkman, but man...I just want to smack him.)

I've been into other shows before, but the Heroes fandom is the first one that's been this fun. I'm on the verge of writing fanfic myself.
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