I haven't really talked about the GMAC Bowl played on Sunday because the wounds were too deep. I seriously should have gotten drunk before trying to watch that. I actually gave up and went to bed when the score was still only 56-7. I mean...what the FUCK?!?! So in an attempt to wash the bad taste out of my mouth - since "at least Toledo didn't even make it into a bowl game" isn't helping - I decided to thank my perennial also-rans, the Cincinnati Bengals.
Thank you, Marvin Lewis. You may only have coached them to a 7-9 record this year, but at least you're not Dave Shula
. And hey! You still won 6 more games than the Dolphins did!
Thank you, Chad Johnson. By all rights, your clowning should annoy the crap out of me, yet I find you charming and funny, even the fact that whenever you come up with an attention-seeking plan, you have a check made out to the NFL to pay the inevitable fine before you even do it. I don't even mind the GoDaddy.com commercials where you promote your own website
Thank you, Carson Palmer. Because what you are? Is made of awesome. You are possibly the only #1
draft pick that the Bengals have successfully made (remember Big Daddy, anyone? Exactly!) and despite all the interceptions, you still set franchise records for completions and passing yards.
Thank you, Chris Henry, for not getting arrested yet in 2008.
And finally, thank you, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, for not just being "the guy they picked up because they wanted a player whose name was even harder to spell than Eric Bieniemy's". For setting a team record (and NHL-leading) number of pass receptions, for getting elected to the Pro Bowl, and for saying that one of your favorite hobbies is the PlayStation.