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:: "fuzzy romance and brutal terror" : apparently, I can get behind that ::
MST3K'ing the news 
4th-Feb-2008 10:31 pm
Detail of 'Yuuwaku' by Audrey Kawasaki
*** A Washington County resident hosting a business meeting decided that mounting his Elvis Presley painting on a saw horse at the end of his driveway would be a welcoming touch. Apparently, a thief agreed. The painting by Peter Bue, known for his murals outside Twin Cities restaurants, coffee shops and stores, disappeared the evening of Jan. 30. The owner told the Washington County Sheriff's Office that the painting is valued at $15,000, said Sgt. Andrew Ellickson. The owner hadn't submitted a copy of the appraisal with the complaint, Ellickson said. ***

Um. I'm not sure what is more shocking about this paragraph: the fact that a painting of Elvis is appraised at $15,000, or the fact that someone would put a $15,000 painting on a sawhorse at the end of their driveway without a second thought and then expect pity when they lose it. 

*** Bue died in June 2005. His wife, Laura Kroeten-Bue, said Monday that he was a prolific artist. "He definitely painted Elvis," she said, noting that her husband painted at least one full-body portrait of the legendary singer, and at least three head portraits, all in acrylic. ***

Dude. I...can't really say anything to make that sound even more disturbing. I just hope the full-body portrait wasn't a nude.

*** Ellickson declined to name the West Lakeland Township owner of the painting, and said the owner hadn't provided a description of the painting. ***

Um...black hair, curled lip, sparkly jumpsuit? Just a shot in the dark.

*** Peter Bue, also known as Fucci, painted at least a dozen outside murals in the Uptown area of Minneapolis and many more inside coffee shops. He owned Fucci Products International and said that his travels to Europe inspired much of his later work. ***

So he's also got a whole series of Hasselhoff pictures?

*** Kroeten-Bue said that her family is making new discoveries of her husband's work, including sketchbooks that date to 1969 and sculptures they didn't know he'd done. ***

Sometimes, one is better off NOT knowing about the things one's spouse has done. See also: Elvis, full-body, paintings of.

*** Ellickson said he doubts someone was driving around looking for an Elvis painting to steal. "It's probably just a crime of opportunity," he said. ***

If you, or someone you love, spends their time driving around looking for an Elvis painting to steal, please seek professional help immediately. Unless you're one of my ex-roommates, in which case please let me know that you're doing it so that I can film it and put it on YouTube, because I still regret that I didn't have a video camera when the kitchen-cabinet-pot-fume-sniffing incident took place.
 
Comments 
5th-Feb-2008 08:28 am (UTC)
Oh, wow. That is such a ridiculous story that I almost find it hard to believe, but yeah... people can be dumb. And insane. I mean, full-body portraits of Elvis?!! o_O

Your commentary made me laugh, though.
5th-Feb-2008 10:20 am (UTC)
I mean, full-body portraits of Elvis?!! o_O

Well, how else are you going to show the blue suede shoes?

(Hypothetically speaking, if he painted Elvis wearing _only_ blue suede shoes (okay, and socks), would it still count as a nude? Forsquilis, it is all your fault that I have this in my mind as I'm going to bed.)
5th-Feb-2008 10:14 am (UTC)
This sounds like a Coen Brothers movie or something.

So he's also got a whole series of Hasselhoff pictures?

BWAH! XD

*** Ellickson declined to name the West Lakeland Township owner of the painting, and said the owner hadn't provided a description of the painting. ***

Um...black hair, curled lip, sparkly jumpsuit? Just a shot in the dark.


But old Elvis or young Elvis? Did the painting incorporate any of the following: a) microphone, b) guitar, c) cape d) treble clef and/or music notes, e) teardrop, f) halo, g) other? Don't you realize how many stolen Elvis paintings are traded on the black (velvet) market each year?

He should've had it painted on his mailbox--at least then, the theft would've been a federal crime.
7th-Feb-2008 05:07 am (UTC)
An Unevolved Lesser Being
It was returned to them and there not pressing charges against the theif even though it was by where you normally put your garbage.
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