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Meme: 10 characters you would have sex with 
14th-Mar-2008 01:18 am
Sylar about to paint the future
So resol37 tagged me to do this meme:

List ten fictional characters you would have sex with (in no particular order) and tag five people to do the same.

Don't blame me if you need brain bleach or a bunk after seeing this. (OK, technically, I suppose that since I'm the one who bared my soul, and searched for all these pictures, and put them in my PhotoBucket account, and inserted them in this post, I'm the one to blame. But I've decided that I am actually totally blameless in this. Besides, my bunk is soundproofed, so I can't hear anyone's complaining.) 

10. Dante Hicks

Yes, he’s inactive. Yes, he’s whiny. Yes, he lets life sweep him along without doing anything to steer himself. But there’s something about Dante. When I first saw this movie, it was July 1995, and I had just graduated college and my friends and I had no idea what the hell to do with our lives. We had crappy part-time jobs because we needed to eat, and one of my friends even slept in her closet like Dante. And I could completely identify with Dante, between the lack of direction and the inability to tell people who were messing with me to fuck off (that, at least, has now been rectified). I would totally do him. Though I might fake sleep afterwards to avoid having to listen to him to complain about his day.

9. Tim Canterbury

I fell in love with Tim because of that sense of humor. Watching him bait an oblivious Gareth with gay sex metaphors never fails to send me into hysterics. And his whole desperately sad self-assessment: “I don't talk about my love life for a very good reason, and that reason is I don't have one. Which is very good news for the ladies - I am still available. I'm a heck of a catch, cause, well look at it. I live in Slough, in a lovely house, with my parents. I have my own room, which I've had since, yep, since I was born. That's seen a lot of action, I tell you. Mainly dusting. I went to university for a year as well, before I dropped out, so I'm a quitter. So, er, form an orderly queue, ladies.” Again, I can identify with the sense of desperation. Dawn? You had plenty of chances, honey – step aside.

8. Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC

Look. Just look at this picture of the man's torso. It’s not my fault, people. So just shut up, all right? SHUT UP.

7. Faramir, son of Denethor

Go right ahead. Mock me. But frankly, it’s a little obvious to chase after Aragorn The Chosen One. I liked Faramir from the instant Frodo and Sam ran across him: he fought because he had to, and fought bravely and well, but valued lore and poetry and knew that without them, Gondor wouldn’t have anything left to save. He was clearly intelligent, and able to make cool decisions under pressure, and bore the burden of his father’s disapproval and anger without breaking. And then there’s the romanticism of his choosing Eowyn even though others might be horrified by his choice to mix his bloodline with that of someone “lesser” than him. (And yes, it may be weird to use Lego!Faramir...but I haven’t seen the movies, and I don’t care for any of the illustrated versions of him, so you get to look at a plastic version with the White Tree of Gondor hand-painted on him.)

6. Sam Tyler

Man...he does not photograph well under any circumstances, does he? He’s just so gentle and earnest and well-meaning. And hot. You look at him, and just imagine him taking that leather jacket off...slooooowly...

5. Captain Jack Harkness

Come on. Look at him. LOOK AT HIM.

And he’s not just hot as hell, he’s also kind and sweet.

Sure, he’ll do anyone (and probably anything) that will hold still for him. (“Ever had alien meat?”...) But...my God. LOOK AT HIM.

4. Cal

I watched The 40 Year Old Virgin for the first time with a mixed group of friends. For some reason, at one point, E turned to me and said, “So, which one of these guys would YOU be most likely to sleep with?” And before I could answer, everyone in the room said simultaneously, “Cal, right?” I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but...look at him. Despite the bong residue that likely permeates everything he owns, I just adore him and his curly hair. He plays video games! He writes horrible fiction! He looks really hot while taking his shirt off!

3. Mohinder Suresh

If you look at this picture and DON’T want to lick him, you are a robot. No – even robots want to lick him. If you don’t want to lick him, you don’t have a SOUL, man. Or you are a Dalek. No, I think even the Daleks would use their sensory appendages to appreciate him.

And, okay, yes, he's brilliant and capable and quick-witted and kind. But...LOOK AT THAT NECK. HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT TO TOUCH THAT NECK?

If the bitchface doesn’t convince you...look at the quizzical face. Seriously. How can you not want to lick him? Mmmmmmmohinder (TM squeegee_burble ).

2. Sylar

I think I’ve already written several PhD-length dissertations on this subject, so I’ll just say: much as I empathized with Gabriel Gray, fucking him didn't become a necessity until he started cutting people’s heads open and changed his name. Well, actually, it didn't become a necessity until he ate ice cream.

1. Robert Hawkins

The man is made of awesome, people. MADE OF AWESOME. It stands to reason, he’s also made of awesome...IN BED. Also, he used to be a cop in St. Louis. An AWESOME COP. And he can kill you with his bare hands. And he knows many uses for duct tape. Did I mention he's frakking smegging AWESOME?

Oh, man. I swear, everyone on my flist is either traveling right now or has already been tagged (or, I suspect, isn't interested in memes). But I will tag aelora , nothingtosay , barhaven , invderlava , sinemoras , and ghagiel . (Yes, I realize that is 6 people. See my previous sentence re: travel/already tagged/not interested. I figure picking a sixth person increases the chance that someone will do it by 20%.) 
14th-Mar-2008 07:20 am (UTC)
I watched The 40 Year Old Virgin for the first time with a mixed group of friends. For some reason, at one point, E turned to me and said, “So, which one of these guys would YOU be most likely to sleep with?” And before I could answer, everyone in the room said simultaneously, “Cal, right?” I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but...look at him. Despite the bong residue that likely permeates everything he owns, I just adore him and his curly hair. He plays video games! He writes horrible fiction! He looks really hot while taking his shirt off!
A-fucking-men, woman. A-fucking-men.
14th-Mar-2008 07:40 am (UTC)
"I touched a guy's balls once, in Hebrew school."

"You wait for the seed to grow into a plant. And then you FUCK the plant!"

"You know what's a fun game? Take 3 Excedrin PM's and see if you can whack off before you fall asleep. You always win."

"You know how I know you're gay?..."

ILU CAL!!!!!

(*sigh*...why must you torment me with the Striped Tank Top of AAARRRGGGHHH!? I am worried that that thing will run off and mate with Mohinder's Scarf of Fug, and produce garments so terrifying that no amount of hotness can overcome it. Laugh at me all you want...)
14th-Mar-2008 10:56 am (UTC)
Heh, I'll have to give this meme a miss. There's plenty of characters I like, but I'm not particularly interested in sex with any of them. ;)

Maybe if I changed it to "fictional characters with something about them that I ♥", or "fictional characters I'd like to sit down for an hour and chat with"...
14th-Mar-2008 03:57 pm (UTC)
But it's such a great excuse to waste an evening looking for pictures of cute guys! "I'm doing research for something I'm writing. Yeah. Research." :P
14th-Mar-2008 11:52 am (UTC)
it was July 1995, and I had just graduated college
How did I not know you were older than me? In July 1995, I was 14, and had just graduated eighth grade. Why did I think you were, like, 19 or something?

I apologize, even though you probably didn't know I thought that.
14th-Mar-2008 04:02 pm (UTC)
Oh, I'm not offended! A lot of people think that - not only am I a night owl, so I'm often online when most people with full-time adult-world jobs are in bed, but I generally ALWAYS have a computer on and take quick posting breaks in between doing chores or whatever. So a lot of people wind up thinking I'm a college student, or something.

My entire life, people have thought I was older than I am; in 8th grade, I was regularly mistaken for a college student, and in college, bouncers would look at my ID and be visibly surprised that I was underage. So I kind of enjoy being considered younger than I am, for once. Even if it's because I'm being immature...
14th-Mar-2008 12:38 pm (UTC)
I got tagged? Oh, wow. XD I'm probably gonna have to work on this after I get back from my own travels, because you just barely caught me.

::licks Mohinder::
14th-Mar-2008 04:03 pm (UTC)
It will give you something to think about over spring break. ;0)

Have fun on vacation!
14th-Mar-2008 02:38 pm (UTC)
I WANT FARAMIR, TOO!! I've never encountered anyone else who thought he was the sexiest person in the books (well, Eomer was pretty cool, too). He was so good-hearted and smart, and let Frodo and Sam go, and that whole thing in the Houses of Healing was SO romantic (I was so mad at the movie for not showing it). Love. Also, love that you put a Lego piece in there. I was wondering what I would do if I ever got tagged, because some of mine are from books.

Also, I did NOT have that first picture of Mohinder. Now I do. Thanks for that. He is imminently lickable and delicious. And that first pic of Sylar is my favorite one of him. He looked great in that episode.
14th-Mar-2008 04:15 pm (UTC)
I've never encountered anyone else who thought he was the sexiest person in the books

When it's all said and done, the guys I find sexy are the smart ones, especially ones who understand when forcefulness is good and when they should step back and be quiet and soothing. (They're both signs of emotional strength, just different ways of displaying it.)

I actually wanted to include more literary guys! But I couldn't think of any others that fit the category of "sleeping with" - maybe I just need a visual in order to make that decision.

I have recently developed a liking for Zane!Sylar. I initially liked him better with the longer spikier hair, but I now have a new appreciation for how he looked while growing out that Company-induced P.O.W. haircut. And I love that picture of Mohinder. It's a screencap from Striped Wall. I think they've got the best Heroes screencaps out there. They only did the first 5 episodes of S2, though, which makes me sad.

Has no one tagged you? This has popped up on several people's LJs and I thought I'd seen your username in one of them. At least one person I tagged has said "I'm not doing it", so...I TAG YOU! :0)
(Deleted comment)
14th-Mar-2008 04:19 pm (UTC)
You have good taste thar.
Thank you. :0)

I love how you put Mohinder and Sylar together. THEY BELONG TOGETHER, EVEN ON MEMES.

I now think of them as a unit. It is impossible to discuss one and not have thoughts of the other come into my mind. They have to be together.
14th-Mar-2008 03:32 pm (UTC)
1) nb;alsdkjf;alskj Sam Tyler. Here's the thing. You are completely and totally right about him not photographing well, but once you've seen John Simm!!! in action, you realize that his name can never again be typed without adding three exclamation points to the end. IT'S JOHN SIMM!!!

2) Okay. You know, I TRIED to pay attention to the guys on the list that came after Mohinder, I really did, but... It just. Couldn't be done.


14th-Mar-2008 04:23 pm (UTC)
his name can never again be typed without adding three exclamation points to the end. IT'S JOHN SIMM!!!
You know what really saddens me? My RL friends are all too cheap to pay the extra $8.95 a month to get the digital add-on package that includes BBC America. So none of them know how awesome he is, or how amazing Life On Mars is. And they haven't released DVDs outside of the UK, so I can't entice them into the show by loaning them out, like I did with Heroes. *sigh*

14th-Mar-2008 05:23 pm (UTC)
Mmmmooohhiiinnddeeerrr... *sigh*


*cough* Sorry, we've been discussing this in the chats for the past two days, and it seems tues and are the only two sane people there. I mean... SERIAL KILLER! He has a creepy, creepy mind! He's creepy! I love him, but I wouldn't want him anywhere near me.

*sigh* Mohinder.

Edited at 2008-03-14 05:23 pm (UTC)
14th-Mar-2008 06:24 pm (UTC)
Ah, there's where "fiction" versus "real life" comes into play. In real life, if I were seeing someone and discovered they were killing people, I'd be calling 911 for protection and to turn them in so fast your head would spin.

But in fiction...the audience gets a window into the character's mind that they wouldn't get in real life. Seeing 6MA opened the door for me to feel empathy for him, because I could understand his desperation at the thought of living and dying quietly and boringly and anonymously, and could see that he wasn't truly evil despite the horrible things he was doing.

And I don't feel that he's cruel, which I know shouldn't make a difference, but it does. I think the rush he gets from killing isn't about the killing itself, it's about the new ability he's going to get. The people he has been cruel to (Bennet, Mohinder, Alejandro) are people who, from his POV, messed with him first, so he's just paying them back. That's contrasted with Bennet, who seems to enjoy having people in his power and to enjoy watching them be experimented on, even when they're terrified and freaking out, and to have no problem exercising the power of life and death over ones who have abilities he deems dangerous. And the people he's kidnapped seem to end up knowing something bad happened to them despite the memory erasure, so they have to live the rest of their lives with unease or outright fear. Whereas if Sylar hunts a special, they're dead 60 seconds after he finds them, not being tortured and terrified hour after hour after hour and then left to live with mental scars. (I've never understood how people can lurve Bennet and hate Sylar...to me, they're on almost the same moral level, justifying doing awful things and being selfish. I mean, we know from West that Bennet has no problem kidnapping other people's children and putting them through hell, even though he'll kill to keep Claire from having that happen to her. And I'm STILL pissed that Bennet was willing to sacrifice Mo to save his own skin this season, after Mo pushed aside their past and put trust in him.)

But I still didn't find Sylar attractive till after "Landslide". My best friend summed it up pretty well by saying: Sylar is just so competent. What he does is awful, but he's good at it, and he knows he's good at it, and he calmly and confidently does it, certain that he'll find a way to get what he wants. That's just so masculine - not that women are weak-willed and incompetent, but that's a quality I definitely look for in a man, being assured and decisive and capable. I mean, that's what drove me to take part in Heroes fandom in the first place: I was in utter shock wondering why in hell a serial killer had suddenly become one of the most attractive men I have ever seen in my life, and was trying to see if other people had the same reaction and could help me figure it out. I was very heartened to come to the Heroes forums and find other people saying, "OMGWTF, when did this murderer with the giant eyebrows become hot???"
14th-Mar-2008 09:27 pm (UTC)
Rimmer? I'm sorry, I giggled at that one. ^_^ The torso is nice, though.

Also, the picture of Jack in the long coat... I've never seen Torchwood before, but, wow... yeah... just... wow. *points to icon*
14th-Mar-2008 09:48 pm (UTC)
Rimmer? I'm sorry, I giggled at that one. ^_^

Oh, the character is a TOTAL prat (which is why I was defensive over it). And his name just confirms the prattiness. But it's kind of like Sylar, where they started the character out as this faceless evil but then developed his human side. Rimmer is an insufferable, incompetent jerk but as time goes on, you see how his annoying behaviors are rooted in his insecurities and desperation, and you kind of start to like him. And then you see him in a loincloth with oil rubbed all over his chest...

Torchwood is well worth the watch, IMO. The first half of S1 was a lot of fun, and S2 has been awesome so far. Some people are a bit put off by it because...well, as I keep saying, Torchwood is what happens when a TV producer says, "How can I create a show that can't possibly have slash fic written about it, because all the possible slash pairs are shown getting it on in canon?" However I doubt many people on my flist would have a problem with that. ;0)
14th-Mar-2008 10:06 pm (UTC)
This is an awesome list. Seriously. More than half of these I'm totally with you on (Mohinder, Tim, Sam, Hawkins...goes without saying).

My problem is I have too many guys in my fantasy harem. At any given time I might be a bit more into a few than the others, but they all have a place and it's difficult to decide who to list without thinking that my opinion might be altered tomorrow.

I know you put "Cal", not Seth Rogen but I have to say I've always had a thing for Seth Rogen since "Freaks and Geeks"...the girl his character dug played the tuba. When I was in elementary school I played the tuba (it was as tall as me). I felt like it was a shout out to me :-)
14th-Mar-2008 10:31 pm (UTC)
my fantasy harem
OMG. THAT is the comm/website I want to start! XD

I am horrific with making lists. If you ask for my favorite movie, I'd say "SuperTroopers" 50% of the time, but depending on my mood, there are a dozen others that will pop up at other times. And sometimes I just completely blank out, giving the impression that I have no interests, when really my brain is paralyzed by choice - not to mention that "SuperTroopers" needs to be judged differently than "Crumb", which needs to be judged differently than "The Devil Rides Out"...

I have never seen Freaks & Geeks. I don't think I was even aware of it when it was originally aired. I really need to watch the DVDs I have from Netflix, so that I can send them back and check out some other shows. But Seth Rogen...definitely yes. resol37 once posted a picture of him with Zachary Quinto, and I squeed like a 12-year-old.
(Deleted comment)
15th-Mar-2008 04:57 pm (UTC) - Re: I would SO do Faramir!!
I totally just finished it. dude it took me TWO HOURS!! *facepalm*

Best meme EVER, btw. I highly approve XD
15th-Mar-2008 03:23 pm (UTC)
I'm working on my list (because, yes, it's a perfectly normal thing to do on a beautiful Saturday morning) and I checked out yours. I won't steal him but CAL! Dammit, why didn't I think of Cal? Good, I'm not the only one. When he takes his shirt off on the way into the bathroom and mutters, "Hey, I'm Cal" -- love it!! You've got a great list.
15th-Mar-2008 06:17 pm (UTC)
You've got a great list.
Thanks! I have odd tastes, so I wasn't sure if people would be entertained by my choices, or disturbed by them.

I won't steal him but CAL!
Oh, no - steal Cal! The more people who love Cal, the better! I'm sure he would agree with that sentiment... ;0)
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