Don't blame me if you need brain bleach or a bunk after seeing this. (OK, technically, I suppose that since I'm the one who bared my soul, and searched for all these pictures, and put them in my PhotoBucket account, and inserted them in this post, I'm the one to blame. But I've decided that I am actually totally blameless in this. Besides, my bunk is soundproofed, so I can't hear anyone's complaining.)
10. Dante Hicks
Yes, he’s inactive. Yes, he’s whiny. Yes, he lets life sweep him along without doing anything to steer himself. But there’s something about Dante. When I first saw this movie, it was July 1995, and I had just graduated college and my friends and I had no idea what the hell to do with our lives
. We had crappy part-time jobs because we needed to eat, and one of my friends even slept in her closet like Dante. And I could completely identify with Dante, between the lack of direction and the inability to tell people who were messing with me to fuck off (that, at least, has now been rectified). I would totally do him. Though I might fake sleep afterwards to avoid having to listen to him to complain about his day. 9. Tim Canterbury
I fell in love with Tim because of that sense of humor. Watching him bait an oblivious Gareth with gay sex metaphors never fails to send me into hysterics. And his whole desperately sad self-assessment: “I don't talk about my love life for a very good reason, and that reason is I don't have one. Which is very good news for the ladies - I am still available. I'm a heck of a catch, cause, well look at it. I live in Slough, in a lovely house, with my parents. I have my own room, which I've had since, yep, since I was born. That's seen a lot of action, I tell you. Mainly dusting. I went to university for a year as well, before I dropped out, so I'm a quitter. So, er, form an orderly queue, ladies.”
Again, I can identify with the sense of desperation. Dawn? You had plenty of chances, honey – step aside. 8. Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC
Look. Just look at this picture of the man's torso. It’s not my fault, people. So just shut up, all right? SHUT UP. 7. Faramir, son of Denethor
Go right ahead. Mock me. But frankly, it’s a little obvious to chase after Aragorn The Chosen One. I liked Faramir from the instant Frodo and Sam ran across him: he fought because he had to, and fought bravely and well, but valued lore and poetry and knew that without them, Gondor wouldn’t have anything left to save. He was clearly intelligent, and able to make cool decisions under pressure, and bore the burden of his father’s disapproval and anger without breaking. And then there’s the romanticism of his choosing Eowyn even though others might be horrified by his choice to mix his bloodline with that of someone “lesser” than him. (And yes, it may be weird to use Lego!Faramir...but I haven’t seen the movies, and I don’t care for any of the illustrated versions of him, so you get to look at a plastic version with the White Tree of Gondor hand-painted on him.) 6. Sam Tyler
Man...he does not photograph well under any circumstances, does he? He’s just so gentle and earnest and well-meaning. And hot. You look at him, and just imagine him taking that leather jacket off...slooooowly... 5. Captain Jack Harkness
Come on. Look at him. LOOK AT HIM.
And he’s not just hot as hell, he’s also kind and sweet.
Sure, he’ll do anyone (and probably anything) that will hold still for him. (“Ever had alien meat?”...) But...my God. LOOK AT HIM. 4. Cal
I watched The 40 Year Old Virgin
for the first time with a mixed group of friends. For some reason, at one point, E turned to me and said, “So, which one of these guys would YOU be most likely to sleep with?” And before I could answer, everyone in the room said simultaneously, “Cal, right?” I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but...look at him. Despite the bong residue that likely permeates everything he owns, I just adore him and his curly hair. He plays video games! He writes horrible fiction! He looks really hot while taking his shirt off! 3. Mohinder Suresh
If you look at this picture and DON’T want to lick him, you are a robot. No – even robots want to lick him. If you don’t want to lick him, you don’t have a SOUL, man. Or you are a Dalek. No, I think even the Daleks would use their sensory appendages to appreciate him.
And, okay, yes, he's brilliant and capable and quick-witted and kind. But...LOOK AT THAT NECK. HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT TO TOUCH THAT NECK?
If the bitchface doesn’t convince you...look at the quizzical face. Seriously. How can you not want to lick him?
Mmmmmmmohinder (TM squeegee_burble
). 2. Sylar
I think I’ve already written several PhD-length dissertations on this subject, so I’ll just say: much as I empathized with Gabriel Gray, fucking him didn't become a necessity until he started cutting people’s heads open and changed his name. Well, actually, it didn't become a necessity until he ate ice cream. 1. Robert Hawkins
The man is made of awesome, people. MADE OF AWESOME. It stands to reason, he’s also made of awesome...IN BED. Also, he used to be a cop in St. Louis. An AWESOME COP. And he can kill you with his bare hands. And he knows many uses for duct tape. Did I mention he's frakking smegging AWESOME?
Oh, man. I swear, everyone on my flist is either traveling right now or has already been tagged (or, I suspect, isn't interested in memes). But I will tag
. (Yes, I realize that is 6 people. See my previous sentence re: travel/already tagged/not interested. I figure picking a sixth person increases the chance that