I don't know if I've ever talked about the Nuclear Mutant Squirrels. These squirrels that live around my house just plain scare me. Among many other things, they have:
** dragged a peanut butter jar around my backyard while making threatening noises at me as I stood on the deck
** chewed a hole in the kitchen window screen and came in to eat food on my counter while I was 15 feet away watching TV in the living room
** when I later left the kitchen window slightly ajar to let air flow through the house, came back into it and gnawed at the countertop to try to get enough room to get in again, and hissed at me when I came in and poked them with a fork to try to drive them away
** chewed away so much of the railing on the balcony that I had to replace it last summer, and have now chewed one of the deck boards so badly I'm going to have to replace it
** chewed the cable line so badly I had to have it replaced (the Time Warner guy said he had never seen anything like it)
** stuck a half-eaten chicken breast in the lattice on my screen door for reasons known only to themselves (at first I thought maybe one of the kids next door had done it, but I could see the muddy little paw-prints leading to and from it)
This last one is most important because I just stood up a moment ago, looked through the piano windows in my living room, and saw...this.
This is a breadstick which has been carefully balanced in the branches of the tree. Were they interrupted in the midst of a meal? Got full and decided to just leave it there? Under the mistaken impression that this is an optimum method for food storage? Just trying to piss me off?
I have been having a scattered, stressy day because I'd gotten back in the habit of drinking pop again, and was trying to go all day without any. But I'm reaching the point of being twitchy and unable to focus. And for some reason, this was like the final irritating straw of the day. So despite not needing the calories or the junk food, and not needing to spend the money, I am about to go order a pizza and a 2-liter of Coke to go with it. And then watch Torchwood. I bet Ianto would know what to do about the squirrels. He knows everything.