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:: "fuzzy romance and brutal terror" : apparently, I can get behind that ::
A passionate appeal for the saving of the Sybrows 
28th-Jul-2007 08:35 pm
Detail of 'Yuuwaku' by Audrey Kawasaki

Dear J.J. Abrams,

Congratulations on being given the chance to direct a Star Trek movie!  I'll be honest and admit that I've never been a big fan of most of your other projects, but I also know you can't possibly do a worse job with Trek than Bermaga did, so I look forward to seeing what you have to offer us.

However, this letter is intended to address something of vital importance to a significant and vocal portion of the online fan community: namely, Zachary Quinto's eyebrows.  I know this may not seem like a big deal to you.  But what you need to understand is that many of us have spent months trying to get others to fully appreciate Zach's work on Heroes, and our efforts are often met with a scornful, "That guy is creepy and he needs to do something about those damn eyebrows."  

I know it's hard to believe that people with such ignorant beliefs could exist, but they do!  Personally, I don't really see why anyone would have an objection to the eyebrows.  Yes, they're extremely full, but they actually draw attention to those lovely huge brown eyes of his in quite a complimentary fashion.  Even if one does experience a few moments of trepidation over them, they very quickly say to one, "We're here, we're attached to the rest of him, get used to it."  They're such a part of him that it's impossible to imagine him without them--or to even imagine why anyone would WANT to imagine him without them.  So perhaps now you can begin to fathom why, after many attempts to make the ignorant understand this basic truth, we have become passionate about, and emotionally invested in, the integrity and intense beauty of the eyebrows.

Now, as a mild-to-moderate Trekkie, I am extremely well aware--probably more aware than Zach himself, judging by his humble admission that he didn't understand Vulcans had emotions--that Vulcans are portrayed as having very distinctive, high, thin eyebrows.  I know that some Trekkies will probably mount an impassioned argument with this as a "defense" for mutilating Zach's eyebrows.  To these people, I say: fuck off.  Yes, continuity and canon are vital to maintaining a realistic, believable universe such as the one that the characters of Star Trek inhabit.  But they are nowhere near as vital as the need to preserve Zach's sweet, lovely, thick eyebrows.  So, I would like to offer you a couple of suggestions on how to deal with this potentially explosive situation:

(1) Spock very likely could have inherited human eyebrows from Amanda.  Since it's been hinted that this movie may examine a period in Spock's life when he was struggling to reconcile the two sides of his heritage, what better way to reflect that struggle than to give him human eyebrows?
(2) Klingon forehead ridges.  Yeah, that's right, bitch, I'm going there.  Why didn't they have them in TOS?  Huh?  "We do not speak of it to outsiders."  And why is that?  Because Roddenberry himself couldn't come up with a decent retcon for it!  Find a way, Abrams.  Find a way to explain the eyebrows, or we will become very upset.  This is not a threat--this is a promise.

Also, I would like to take the time to note that in real life, I have the same first name as Spock's mother.  That has absolutely nothing to do with the subject matter of this letter, but I think it's really cool and like to mention it as often as possible.

I hope this letter has made you fully understand the seriousness of this matter, and the intense need you should feel to prevent any molestation or mutilation of Zach's eyebrows.  Keep in mind that we will all be watching you very closely over the next few months.  We may not know where you, or any professional waxers whom you may employ on your productions, live, but we can always find out.  (OK, yes, THAT is a threat.)

Very cordially yours,

29th-Jul-2007 04:04 am (UTC)
29th-Jul-2007 04:20 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
29th-Jul-2007 04:25 pm (UTC)
The boy just is not going to look good with pencil-thin brows. We've got to stop it before it starts!
(Deleted comment)
29th-Jul-2007 07:02 am (UTC)
An Unevolved Lesser Being
Ha! I would love it if someone actually sent this to J.J. Hell, I'll do it myself. He needs to be aware of the importance of the eyebrows of sexiness!
29th-Jul-2007 07:05 am (UTC)
Yeah, this was me; I accidentally posted it twice because I didn't realize that I wasn't logged in the first time, and then didn't realize that it actually posted. *facepalm*

Feel free to delete.
29th-Jul-2007 07:03 am (UTC)
Ha! I would love it if someone actually sent this to J.J. Hell, I'll do it myself. He needs to be aware of the importance of the eyebrows of sexiness!
29th-Jul-2007 04:26 pm (UTC)
Eh, I'll leave both of them in there. No one's ever trigger my "anonymous" message before, it was kind of neat to see it. :0)

And yes, Abrams has to be made aware of how pretty they are!
29th-Jul-2007 08:57 am (UTC)
'Ear, 'ear!


Anyway, I agree! I'd honest to god mail it, too! I have no shame. May waxers never lay their hands on ZQ - any part of him, for that matter.
29th-Jul-2007 04:28 pm (UTC)
I wonder, if I sent it to him, would he think it was really funny or would he take out a restraining order against me and half of the TWoP forum users?...
29th-Jul-2007 09:40 am (UTC)
I spent a good chunk of the day today staring at the aforementioned face and eyebrows (I was drawing! It was totally for artistic purposes, really it was.) and I agree with you insert-ridiculously-high-number-here percent! Some things can't be messed with, and I am sure those brows are two of them.
29th-Jul-2007 04:31 pm (UTC)
The eyebrows are just so HIM. He wouldn't be him without them! People were very worried at the TWoP forums last night because it looks like he may have had them waxed before the ComicCon panels he was in, so I spent a lot of time yesterday looking at before and after pictures of the eyebrows. Solely in the interest of scientific inquiry, you understand.
29th-Jul-2007 06:00 pm (UTC)
Send it to him! XD Zachary can not by touched by waxers. No way, no how.

Plus, I think his talent is contained in those eyebrows XD
29th-Jul-2007 07:16 pm (UTC)
I'm starting to think that I need to wait a few more days and then just print this page out, including the comments, and send it to him with a note saying "SEE?!? Other people agree with me!" LOL
29th-Jul-2007 06:54 pm (UTC)
I agree... touch those damn eyebrows and I will help lead the torch weilding villager brigade along with...
29th-Jul-2007 07:32 pm (UTC)
I've been trying to figure out exactly when I started caring this much about the eyebrows of a man I've never met. I've decided that I don't really care--I just need to do my part to protect them.
29th-Jul-2007 07:57 pm (UTC)
Your Darn Right. :D
30th-Jul-2007 12:09 am (UTC)
Hee! (And I like your icon.)
29th-Jul-2007 08:40 pm (UTC)
I really like your #1 suggestion about inheritingthe eyebrows from his human half. I think it'd fit in nicely with the ST canon.
30th-Jul-2007 12:16 am (UTC)
I suggested it facetiously a couple of weeks ago, but now I seriously like the idea, partly because surely he inherited SOMETHING physical from his human heritage, partly because it could be used to symbolize his growing distance from that heritage. (Assuming that the movie does end up involving his struggle to be Vulcan, which are the hints I've been hearing from the internets and the Trekkies I know.)
29th-Jul-2007 09:23 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA LOL. I loved this. Are you sending it?
30th-Jul-2007 12:17 am (UTC)
Everyone keeps telling me to. Of course it may result in him taking out a restraining order against me!!! :0)
(Deleted comment)
30th-Jul-2007 12:29 am (UTC)
Is it sad to be so protective of the eyebrows of a man I've never met? No--not when it's this man.

And dude--if people will swallow the foreheads and keep watching, they can damn well deal with the eyebrows!!!
6th-Aug-2007 07:39 am (UTC)

Erm, sorry about the capslocks. I was linked from my f-list, and this is pure brilliance. You have to send it! XD
6th-Aug-2007 01:29 pm (UTC)
It's utter crack, and I laughed a lot while writing it. These guys seem to have a broad sense of humor--Zachary's making public jokes about SYLINDER now, for pete's sake--and if I were to send this to J.J. and get an equally crack-filled response, it would make my year. :0)
8th-Aug-2007 10:40 pm (UTC)
I've created a Sybrows page on heroes wik:
I've linked to this article. Hope you don't mind ;-)
8th-Aug-2007 11:18 pm (UTC)
My crack is linked to from Heroes Wiki?!?! Cool!!!!

Obviously I need therapy... :0)
7th-Oct-2007 02:40 pm (UTC)
I heartily endorse this product or service.
8th-Oct-2007 02:19 am (UTC)
The boy just has such adorable eyebrows. And they're so HIM. I can't stand the thought of them being ripped half off. I'll sit through the movie being distracted by it. Something had to be done! (Of course, that could just be the crack talking...)
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