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:: "fuzzy romance and brutal terror" : apparently, I can get behind that ::
Football jokes, which most of my flist will probably not care about 
17th-Sep-2008 05:43 pm
Eddie Izzard - St Bastard

Up here in Minnesota, people go on and on and on about the Vikings.  And on.  Right now, they're extremely disgusted with the useless coach, Brad "I Never Call A Play That Autistic 5-Year-Olds Can't See Coming From A Mile Away, Yet I'm Stumped As To How Defensive Coordinators Magically Anticipate My Every Move" Childress, and the clearly-not-Brett-Favre-or-Daunte-Culpepper-or-even-Carson-Palmer-quality quarterback, Tavaris Jackson. There's also plenty of fury left over for owner Zygi Wilf, a man who makes Cincinnati's Mike Brown look like a strategic genius.

There was a poll running at (I believe) ESPN.com, where users were asked to indicate whether or not they approved of a coach's current performance.  Only 6% of respondents had confidence in Childress (Marvin Lewis of the Bengals had a higher rating).  Some of the people on local message boards were quite hilarious in their response to this bit of info.  I think my favorite comment is the last one...

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A 6% rating for the Chiller???? Someone must have been confused about this voting process.

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And those 6% are Packer fans who are absolutely delighted in the continued 'competence' of Sir Brad.

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6% seems awfully high...is there a 6% margin of error?

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Even Brad’s family says, “he must go.”  His wife later said, “He’s also predictable in bed.”

A positive vote came in from a T. Jackson, which said, “he a gud cooch. Me likes him.” (It should be noted that T. Jackson’s vote was skipped into the ballot box because the delivery was three yards short.)

A Z. Wilf asked, “is a 6% approval rating good?” Then, he pissed off a bunch of people in Anoka County.

* * * * * * *
Childress: “Sometimes a positive response isn’t what you’re looking for. Like in an STD test. This voting is just like that.”


17th-Sep-2008 11:32 pm (UTC)
I don't even know anything about this guy, aside from what you wrote prior to the jokes (though we have a professional football team, NC is not a football state), yet I still laughed. (Perhaps this has something to do with my inability to not laugh at the failure of any team that is not "my" team.) 6% margin of error... ha!
18th-Sep-2008 04:06 pm (UTC)
Any sort of sports-related mockery is a fun thing to take part in. I was very glad I was not eating while reading these, because both the margin of error comment and the STD comment would have ruined my keyboard.

Another form of sports entertainment? Boyfriend is a massive fan of this team, which is currently 0-2. Listening to him attempt to rationalize "good" things out of these losses is hilarious.
19th-Sep-2008 03:59 am (UTC)
Ahh yes, the time-honored tradition of rationalizing away your team's suckiness when it is evident to everyone else that the real reason behind it is that your team flat out sucks. Good times! Of couse, I know nothing about this, but willfully admit I too would engage in such an activity... you know, if my team ever sucked. ;)
19th-Sep-2008 02:54 pm (UTC)
Actually, he got even more creative with his insults, too. At one point when the Cincinnati score flashed on the screen, he said, "Wow, look, Carson Palmer completed 18 passes! Don't look so down about it...16 of them were to his teammates!" (The burn, of course, being that he threw 2 interceptions...)

Good times.
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