So this morning, Boyfriend
and I were loading up the defective TV stand into my car so that we can return it after work tonight. And I had noticed earlier that there was a dark SUV that had crawled down the street, stopped in the street, and then parked in front of the rental duplex next door. (One tends to be sensitive to these sorts of things when, for the first 19 months one lives in one's house, the rental duplex next door is occupied by drug dealers.) Then a sedan parks further down the street and a guy who looks like Samuel L. Jackson without hair gets out and eyes us as he walks towards us. (Boyfriend
, later: "I was kind of nervous because I had a vibe like he was going to pull a gun on us.") Since we're staring at each other, I do the polite thing and say, "Hi", and he just nods silently back and walks past us to join up with the people who've gotten out of the SUV.
On the back of his dark blue jacket are the words: "US MARSHAL".
That's right. The feds were surrounding the rental duplex next door to me. (Boyfriend
, later: "That's when I realized why I had a gun-pulling vibe from him - he was likely sizing us up in case we were the people he was looking for, and he needed
to pull a gun on us.")
I have no idea what's going on. Boyfriend
texted me as I was on my way to work to tell me that they are looking for someone - I'm not sure if he eavesdropped, or just went outside and asked them (that's the sort of thing he'd do, whereas my instinct is to not make any form of eye contact with the people who are probably authorized by the Department of Homeland Security to shoot me if they don't like the color of my shirt). I'm not sure exactly which crimes the US marshals investigate - and I'm not sure I want to know. Then again, maybe you guys can help me figure it out!
What could the feds possibly be arresting Forsquilis' neighbors for?
They're running a meth lab in the basement.
One of the tenants is a devout Muslim - maybe he's a jihadist who sends his cab-driving tip money to Osama Bin Laden!
They're the masterminds who figured out Sarah Palin's sooper sekrit Yahoo email password and hacked it.
WTF? You know damn well her password was '123456'. Or, possibly, 'PASSWORD'.
They're illegal immigrants who worked at that kosher meat plant in Iowa, and the authorities have tracked them up here.
They're running a back-alley pill mill, helping local senior citizens get sinful prescription drugs from Canada.
Sarah Palin heard that one of them was a witch, and she's having them neutralized before they cast an evil spell on her.
Is this poll just an excuse to bash Sarah Palin? It's not her fault that her daughter got knocked up by a dumbass inbred redneck like the ones you were forced to grow up with.
Quit being so dramatic. I'm sure it's something simple, like, they're harboring a cousin who's wanted for murder in Texas, or something.