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:: "fuzzy romance and brutal terror" : apparently, I can get behind that ::
People Who Are Different From You And I 
30th-Oct-2008 06:21 pm
Lewis Black - horse
I just got out of a two-hour conference call that made me want to tear my hair out.  I need something to lighten my mood.  So...

Last week, as a result of playing Kingdom of Loathing, Boyfriend and I discovered this website:  Roy Orbison in Clingfilm .  That's right. It's a guy who writes stories about Roy Orbison wrapped in clingfilm. We only read one ("Roy in Clingfilm in Space") because Boyfriend was rather traumatized, but...wow. It's, like, the most bizarre fetishizing I've read, as there's nothing even vaguely sexual, the author just...enjoys the thought of wrapping Roy Orbison in clingfilm. Observe:

I retrieve some cling-film from the Clingfilm Stowage Compartment where several hundred of the translucent rolls of joy glint softly in the cabin lights.

Roy Orbison unbuckles from his seat and floats out into the middle of the cabin, his black clothing billowing about him in the zero gravity like the folds of some black cloth manta ray. 'Commence,' he says.

I won't give away the surprise twist ending, but let's just say, if you're intrigued by the thought of wrapping Roy Orbison in clingfilm, it will definitely delight and satiate you.  When you read the stories, and you will read the stories, picture Dieter from Sprockets as the author, reading it aloud to you.  That makes it all the more delectable.
Comments 
31st-Oct-2008 12:25 am (UTC)
OK, weirdness alert, but I was SO SURE I'd seen the title of that fic before, so I followed it up...and it was totally posted on this bizarro fanfic site someone told me about where someone had posted Freud/Jung fic, ahahahahahaha

WHY DO SOME PEOPLE EXIST IN THIS WORLD? IDGI.
31st-Oct-2008 03:03 am (UTC)
INORITE??? Actually we couldn't figure out whether the author was serious or not. Some of his sentences had such oddly-phrased pride that we thought, nah, he CAN'T be serious, this is just a joke so he and his friends can make fun of people who believe it's real. But then we'd read some more of the story and go...uh. Maybe he IS.

Freud/Jung? Oh, man. I'm not sure I could take psychiatrist slash.
31st-Oct-2008 09:58 am (UTC)
OMG did you see the interviews he did?

Why Roy, why clingfilm?

I cannot tell! I have had this fantasy since my earliest years. I tried to answer this question in more detail in a previous interview but without satisfaction. To be short, the urge to bring Roy Orbison and Clingfilm together seems to me the most natural thing in the world, and I am surprised to find that other people find that surprising. But I cannot explain it. Why does the butterfly sing when it beholds the flower? Who can say??


LOL WHUT???

I think the weird syntax might be because he's German and English is his second language (I think?). SO WEIRD.

I wonder what he's like IRL? *ponders*

ETA: so I just read a bunch of interviews, and I found myself going, "Aww, he's LONELY." LOL *facepalm* Apparently when his family found out about his clingfilm obsession, his wife divorced him and he was written off from the will. He also says his only friend is his pet turtle Jetta. OH and that he works as a banker but has gotten fired before for daydreaming about clingfilm.

...he also calls fanfic "Obsession Art." Which is awesome. HA!

Edited at 2008-10-31 10:09 am (UTC)
31st-Oct-2008 02:03 pm (UTC)
All that was part of why I thought, this guy HAS to be making all this up. He HAS to be. But...weirder things have happened on the internet. And reading it all makes me giggle so hard, it's an immense cheerer-upper.
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