I realize I'm sort of spamming your flists, but considering how depressing the average Heroes
-related post in my flist was today, I'd like to offer something a little lighter.
I don't know if you've ever seen a blog called "Preppies of the Apocalypse". I never had, until I Googled a slightly odd phrase and it came up near the top of the search results. They have been reviewing Heroes
. The reviews themselves just bring the occasional smile. But the comments on the reviews...the comments, now, those are works of art. I've been giggling hysterically for half an hour. Observe...
"All this is well and good, but I'm sure what we were all really wondering last episode was: Where's Matt? What's he up to? Because I think some quality screen time should have been devoted to watching him follow that turtle across the desert!"
"The turtle is obviously training Matt offscreen - the Charles Xavier to his... uh... I dunno, who is
the lamest of the X-Men? Iceman?"
"And yes, Skulky The Turtle Wonder was imprisoned in the lizard cage. I bet there's an awesome deleted scene of that pair's fight to the death."
"Seriously. If Sylar ever tries to lop the top of my head off, I'm going to save myself by insisting he's my brother. It just might work."
"I believe Magic Blood has been retconned out of existence this season. Volume Two? I have no memory of a Volume Two."
reference! Outstanding! Ingrid and I faithfully watched Profit
during its oh-so-brief run on FOX lo these many years ago. We both enjoyed it, even if what we mostly remembered about it was Naked Pasdar. So a couple years back, Ingrid got me the complete series on DVD for my birthday. And... it doesn't hold up all that well. Remember in the nineties how television pacing wasn't all it could be? Profit
has that problem, with scenes that drag on forever and ever and ever. Still, Naked Pasdar. That's something."
"I thought fondly of Claude when Sylar tossed Peter out the window. Remember when Claude dropped Peter off the rooftop to teach him how to fly? I think that was one of the flaws of Volume Two: at no point did anyone drop Peter off of a tall building."
"I don't think I've ever actually paid attention to a Mohologue. I am only human."
"Yes, that's right. Per Molly, Maury is EVEN WORSE
than Sylar. Then again, lately Sylar has been fetching coffee and making waffles and apologizing a lot, so maybe Molly knows what she's talking about."
"Perhaps Matt never existed and is, and always has been, a psychic projection of the turtle?"
"Fair warning: for every mention of Skulky The Turtle Wonder, I will make a wholly gratuitous reference to Mohinder's phenomenal bone structure and/or his dazzling smile. Mentions of Mr. Muggles will result in hyperbolic speculation on what Mohinder's hair smells like. I'm just saying."
"Arthur Petrelli has very strong, very exciting supervillain potential. Swiping all of his son's powers via hug was a smooth move. I approve. Of course, it figures that anyone married to Angela would be similarly sneaky and ruthless and awesome. And between them, they produced two sneaky, ruthless and awesome sons: Sylar and Nathan. I'm not sure how to account for sweet, dippy Peter, though. Perhaps it'll turn out he's adopted."
"Mohinder's hair smells of honeysuckle and saffron threads. At least that's today's speculation."
"Mohinder is a creature of the moment. I bet if Matt called him up and said 'Hey, how's Molly doing?', Mohinder would respond with a blank stare (particularly effective over the phone)."
"I've long ago stopped trying to view Mohinder's actions through any sort of logical filter. I just sit back and admire the bone structure. It's easier that way."
Best of all: when creating an Official Ranking of Evil, you know who they put on top? That's right. Mr. Muggles.